Being around Rob felt kind of like being around the mean cool girl in middle school.You know she’s cliquey and doesn’t ever make you feel included or happy, but there’s something about her confidence that wins you over. In practice, my emotions were telling me two things at once: This person is terrible, and this person is incredibly sexy in some screwed up way that validates your insecurities.I had been dreaming of heading home and watching Netflix. I had left a full-time job to pursue freelance writing. Everything in my life at that point felt so uncertain, and I was dealing with crippling self-doubt.But I said “yes” instead of “no” because, quite simply, I was afraid to assert my needs. In a weird way, I felt somewhat addicted to confirming my own insecurity, and dating Rob certainly heightened my insecurities.But there may be some things you can do to protect yourself.
Stranger rape and date rape are never the victim’s fault.Rape is sex you don’t agree to, including forcing a body part or object into your vagina, rectum (bottom), or mouth.Date rape is when you are raped by someone you know, like a boyfriend. Rape is not about sex — it is an act of power by the rapist and it is always wrong.The symbol of “the chase” began quite literally in our dynamic.The self-respecting part of me thought his demeanor was kind of entitled and unappealing, but there was admittedly a part of me that felt seduced and wanted Rob’s approval.
It can happen in different situations, by a stranger in an isolated place, on a date, or in the home by someone you know.